after almost 2 years

So what have happened ever since my last blog? 

1. Finished NS 
2. Took up a desk job 
3. Left the desk job
4. Joined PSA 
5. Got ROM-ed (legally married)
6. Put on weight (from 80kg now 114kg)



I realized over the passed few years that mature thinking and far sighted-ness
Was what I was lacking in. Made decisions out of pure ego and anger .
I was never the one to sit back relax , think about the several options I have 
And choose what's best for me and for the people around me. 

And yes I am working in PSA. The first thing in your head all you can think is 
Crane operator . Or the internal truck driver or even wharf supervisor . 
But actually I am a Senior Operations Supervisor . I am currently doing yard operations control . 
Well people generally look down on me , saying its a shift job , very labour intensive and that 
It's a blue collar job. I really don't give a damn about what they think. I am thankful for the job that I have and I am actually pretty much (very very very)happy with my pay package . 

Everyday I look forward to go to work rather than dreading it .
I end up reaching 30 mins early . Even though the I have to do a 45 min mrt travel from my place .

NS was good . Nope I wasn't a commander . Was just a man . Lance corporal 
Nothing much , guardsman . Just the usual heli insertion to testosterone boosting pride whenever we wear the khaki beret .

Now I am just a tub of lard . Because I chose to be this way. To just turn off my mind and body . 
After two years of being constantly bullied and having unreasonable high amount of discipline.
it's difficult to be one of the fatter person in your company ,everyday trying very hard to prove to yourself that you deserve to be in the battalion , to prove that being fat doesn't mean u r weaker than the very much fitter guys .

I think I proved it . There were guys in the battalion who were gifted , no matter how much they eat or how long they don't exercise . They are just fit . They don't gain a single kg .but they chose to chao Keng(act sick or just plainly avoid getting dirty and be trooper)
And then there I am , everyday getting called names ,smirked at and sometimes ostracised because I was either too slow or they just judge me . 

I had my sectionmates , my bunk mates, my buddies and my ps and pc(except the last pc who don't know shit) to thank for , they made me feel welcome and made me realize that all that counts is effor that I put in. Won best soldier on one occasion . 
Other than that I just had to turn a deaf ear to the other constant nonsense I faced when I was in guards . 

So when I left NS I told myself I am going to take time off from all this physical activities , and then I am here , adding 30kg to the body . 

Been a good rest . Time to push the restart button and do what I do best . To prove a point to myself . Every second, every minute ,every hour, every day ,every week, every month and every bloody year